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Apple avoids billions in taxes, and it all looks legal; those guys really are smart

Lawmakers are using words like “gimmicks” and “schemes” to describe how Apple Corporation has used a web of subsidiaries spanning the globe to avoid taxes. There are hearings this week at which Congressmen are expected to say they are shocked, shocked, to hear of tax loopholes being exploited.

As The New York Times reported, Congressional investigators have determined that “some of Apple’s subsidiaries had no employees and were largely run by top officials from the company’s headquarters in Cupertino, Calif. But by officially locating them in places like Ireland, Apple was able to, in effect, make them stateless — exempt from taxes, record-keeping laws and the need for the subsidiaries to even file tax returns anywhere in the world.”

One of Apple’s Irish affiliates reported profits of $30 billion between 2009 and 2012, but because it did not technically belong to any country, it paid no taxes to any government, The Washington Post reported. Another paid a tax rate of 0.05 percent in 2011 on $22 billion in earnings, according to the report.

It’s not expected that any of this will be determined to be illegal–just a highly proactive use of the existing tax rules. Interviewed by The Times, University of Southern California law professor Edward Kleinbard, a former staff director at the Congressional Joint Committee on Taxation, gets the Quote Of The Week Award. “There is a technical term economists like to use for behavior like this,” said Kleinbard. “Unbelievable chutzpah.”

Now that’s a home run: McCourts back in court over billion-dollar Dodgers franchise

Nasty multi-million dollar divorces make for some great financial insights, especially when they wind up in court.

Today’s lesson: How profitable it can be to own a professional sports franchise, and how the tax code’s preferential rates for capital gains benefit the super-wealthy.

Frank McCourt owned the Los Angeles Dodgers. When he and his wife Jamie divorced, Jamie got $131 million as a settlement.

They were back in court this week. The reason: Shortly after the divorce, Frank sold the Los Angeles Dodgers for $2.15 billion. Jamie’s lawyers say the settlement should be thrown out because she was misled about the value of the team. (Isn’t it entertaining when people fight over hundreds of millions of dollars?)

The tax angle: Court documents show that Frank made $1.278 billion on the sale. His lawyers say he has paid more than $460 million in state and federal taxes on the sale.

If you’re keeping score at home, that’s a combined federal-and-state tax rate of about 36%, or roughly the same percentage that a single person in California would have to pay on ordinary taxable income of more than $90,000.

Sex and the IRS: making “friends” with your IRS auditor, extreme version

Dear IRS: I’ve Read About This In Your Manuals, But I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me…

Sometimes I sort through tedious tax court cases looking for some mildly interesting nugget to share, and sometimes a thing of sheer weirdness lands in my lap.

An Oregon man has filed a lawsuit claiming that an IRS agent intimidated and coerced him into having sex with her.

You cannot make up stuff like this.

The Register-Guard in Eugene, Oregon, has all the details of Vincent Burroughs’ accusation that IRS agent Dora Abrahamson used her position to both threaten him with tax penalties and lure him into having sex with her, after coming to his home “provocatively attired.” (She also sent him a photo of herself in her lingerie.)

This poses so very many questions:

–Have you ever before seen “IRS agent,” “intimidated” and “sex” in the same sentence?

–Threats of tax penalties if you don’t put out: Turn-On or Turn-Off?

–IRS agents actually own “provocative attire”?

Robert W. Wood at Forbes
tries to be halfway serious by using this story as a jumping-off point for discussing legitimate ways of getting out of tax penalties . Good for him. Me, I’m just looking forward to seeing what the late-night comics do with this.

Taxes promote creativity (otherwise known as “cheating”)

William Meyers, 66, of Cottage Grove, Oregon, took the time to file more than 70 fake excise tax returns. He’ll now have 366 days in prison (and three years of supervised release, and 100 hours of community service) to mull over the consequences.

Meyers was sentenced in U.S. District Court, and ordered to pay more than $873,000 in restitution, for filing the false returns.

Oh, he was also operating an illegal still. Busy guy. You can find the whole story here, compliments of The Oregonian.

World’s teeniest tax bracket

With the new tax bill passed by Congress in January 2013, there are now seven marginal tax brackets–10%, 15%, 25%, 28%, 33%, 35%, and 39.6%. OK, no big problem there.

Here’s the stupid thing: The only single filers who fall into the 35% marginal bracket will be those with taxable income of $398,350 to $400,000.

That’s right–there is now a tax bracket with a range of $1,650. One Thousand, Six Hundred Fifty Dollars.

You can see the new 2013 tax brackets for yourself here, courtesy of The Tax Policy Center, which estimates that fewer than 500 singles nationwide will fall into this bracket in 2013. You can also find Forbes contributor Howard Gleckman, in primo head-shaking mode, weighing in here.

I can’t make this stuff up.